With Valentines Day lurking around the corner it seems only appropriate to touch on the subject of love. Beautiful love, healer, connector, forgiver, magnanimous in all ways. Love the mover of mountains and the soother of broken and weary hearts.
For many years I was personally disgruntled about the upcoming holiday, for numerous and oftentimes silly reasons. Fortunately for me, and those close to me, I am mailable and my convictions change. This inevitably leads to a change in the words I espouse which is why those in my company have found my changing mind fortunate. And to be fair, through their love and acceptance I have always been permitted the space to voice my opinions without loss of love, not always in agreement, but always with allowance. My unsavory feelings around the holiday stem mostly from a personal desire to see all hearts experiencing the expressions of love every day, not just one day of the year. This has been such an important personal conviction that much of my life has evolved out of it.
Love has many definitions, many feelings, and many different expressions. In it’s essence love is allowing, accepting, all encompassing, and simultaneously transcends all things. The quality of love that we may feel for another person in regards to sexual desire and intimacy is classically known as Eros. Love for those that are familiar and creates a sense of closeness in your heart is known as Storge, this is the love we feel for our family or those we relate to in specific ways, like our yoga family. Then there is Philia which is the love of true friendship. Philia is the type of love we feel for our “chosen family”, those you will accept and allow to be who they are whether you are related to them or not. Finally there is Agape, this is the all encompassing and simultaneously transcendent love of the divine that exists despite changing circumstances.
The more aware we are of these levels of love the more capable we are of seeing our own and others expressions of love in clear terms. Valentines Day has become quite simply and beautifully a celebration of Eros, the delight that can be found in Eros, and the value of such pleasures. Forgiveness and allowance of family members despite their shortcomings and inability to be the people we believe they should be is the quality of Storge love. After thirty-five years of personal experience in this department I think this can be the hardest quality of love to cultivate in the human experience. And by proxy the most liberating and profound. Philia is a type of love that is easy to experience. It is the motivating force behind making plans with friends, answering middle of the night calls of friends in distress, reaching out to a friend you haven’t spoken to in years. Philia is a branch of love that adds deep texture and quality to our lives in the presence of changing intimate relationships and challeng and loss in relationships with blood family members. Agape is the quality of love that created a planet where life thrives in concert with itself. Agape is the force of love that reminds us no matter our shortcomings and transgressions no one is outside the circle of deserving love. Agape is the force of love that witnesses our birth and embraces us in our last breath without conditions of where we have come from or where we are going.
Through awareness of love and of our relationship to love at these levels we can relate to others through love with greater skill. Stewarding the earth in gratitude for her generosity. Contributing to the greater good in our daily activities and work through the lens of true friendship. Honoring those we don’t understand as we would our family members with whom we don’t see eye to eye. And cherishing the fleeting and powerful moments of intimacy we spend with our beloveds behind closed doors with dignity and respect. These are just a few examples, and I invite you to deepen your own contemplation on the subject of love. Working always with the knowing of loves true nature, allowing, forgiving, generous, accepting, spacious, and unconditional. Through contemplation you may arrive at the realization that everyday is an opportunity to live in Love. To live in love in relationship with the whole of the universe…multiverse…and beyond!
With Love, always, in all ways, for giving, in joy!