For today, a list of 8 things I believe that I know to be true :

Stay creative, stay open wide, and steer clear of certainty, for it mocks the spirit’s nature of freedom. As the noise of the news is deafening, and I can only stomach so much atrocious information at one time, this is my practice of late. It is like a sweet salve for the parts of me that border on obsession and anxiety to figure out the truth, right now, and fix the issue. My wise and candid Father recently emailed me a link to a list that well-advertised his disposition of keeping a beginner’s mind. One of the most curious humans I know, my father explores the world with childlike wonder. I am blessed to have such a teacher and guide, and found 25 Ways To Kill the Toxic Ego That Will Ruin Your Life to be a funny peek into the state of humanity. The precepts are simple, happy reminders to stay present. The language is wholly approachable, and each facet provides a conversational channel to deeper spiritual teachings.

How easy it is to be swayed into the camp of certain doom, and absolute disgust, when faced with the facts and anti-facts of today’s cacophonous media soundscape. But, I was reminded this week in a community talk about resiliency (thanks, Kyle and Jan!) that it takes time to digest hard information, just as I know so well the slow and uncomfortable process of digesting foods that don’t sit so nicely in my guts. I have been led by fear and anger to make sheer judgements based on fear-producing newscasts before, ok, many times, but am encouraged by things like this new-age-y list with decided inquiry. A doomed planet, rampant hate on and off the streets (in seats of office), and disarray in the pockets of policy that are supposed to be arranged so neatly are not the only news, they’re just the loudest. Reading through the lines is super hot right now, and there are bushels of good people doing good things to meet the challenges of an awkward start to 2017 on earth.

The recent momentum in industries of self-help, wellness, and practices like yoga points to a pursuit of health and peace and happy, as a cultural theme. I happily participate in these ultra-mod industries of wellness, and observe the irony of needing to be ever-reminded of one’s own innate capacity to heal. Plus, it’s nice to be in such abundant company. Thus, I am a student of yoga, every day, and I try to educate myself, reading: astrological forecasts; a slew of online news reports; spiritual wisdom journals; herbalism, meditation, yoga, wellness, and insight blogs; books. Certainly these are a curated set of horse’s mouths, and I choose them carefully, as every tidbit affects the scene and timbre of the day. Some days the ole’ guts are ready to absorb mainstream media, and some days, some things are just impossible to swallow.

The special brand of action that is born from curiosity, which leads to exploration, and then to glimmers of understanding, will well up inside of me if I wait and see what it looks like, feels like, tastes like, and breathes like. I believe that the wisdom that only comes from experience – prajna – is the good stuff. I know this, and I teach this. Yet, I forget. And at the risk of being too a cheerleader, which some days I am really into, We know this. We have gone down weirder paths before, together.

First on the 25 ways list, Epictetus, the Greek philosopher born as a slave (according to Wikipedia, where admittedly, much information first reaches the shores of my peering mind) is quoted to say, “It is impossible to learn that which one already thinks one knows.” Smart, Epictetus. How many times have I talked myself into being sure of something, only to be dashed on the rocks of mystery and chance?

When I think about it, the things I believe to be true fit it one rather small basket. And when I falter, and question the relevancy of what my teaching yoga has to do with anything at all, I recall that these spare lessons feel universal, and totally relevant right now:

Love is a resilient, unbreakable, and indelible force;

Life is fragile;

Health is a balancing act;

Yoga helps me, most of the time;

Breath is happening, but breathing is more fun;

Peace takes effort, and has got to come from inside;

Trust your gut;

All is shifting all the time, so let it, as certainty can surely kill: creativity, the mood, and will at least put a rude scratch into the perfect mirror of divine mystery. 

Love and deep respect, Suki

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Love Is All You Need

 With Valentines Day lurking around the corner it seems only appropriate to touch on the subject of love. Beautiful love, healer, connector, forgiver, magnanimous in all ways. Love the mover of mountains and the soother of broken and weary hearts. 

 For many years I was personally disgruntled about the upcoming holiday, for numerous and oftentimes silly reasons. Fortunately for me, and those close to me, I am mailable and my convictions change. This inevitably leads to a change in the words I espouse which is why those in my company have found my changing mind fortunate. And to be fair, through their love and acceptance I have always been permitted the space to voice my opinions without loss of love, not always in agreement, but always with allowance. My unsavory feelings around the holiday stem mostly from a personal desire to see all hearts experiencing the expressions of love every day, not just one day of the year. This has been such an important personal conviction that much of my life has evolved out of it.

 Love has many definitions, many feelings, and many different expressions. In it’s essence love is allowing, accepting, all encompassing, and simultaneously transcends all things. The quality of love that we may feel for another person in regards to sexual desire and intimacy is classically known as Eros. Love for those that are familiar and creates a sense of closeness in your heart is known as Storge, this is the love we feel for our family or those we relate to in specific ways, like our yoga family. Then there is Philia which is the love of true friendship. Philia is the type of love we feel for our “chosen family”, those you will accept and allow to be who they are whether you are related to them or not. Finally there is Agape, this is the all encompassing and simultaneously transcendent love of the divine that exists despite changing circumstances. 

 The more aware we are of these levels of love the more capable we are of seeing our own and others expressions of love in clear terms. Valentines Day has become quite simply and beautifully a celebration of Eros, the delight that can be found in Eros, and the value of such pleasures. Forgiveness and allowance of family members despite their shortcomings and inability to be the people we believe they should be is the quality of Storge love. After thirty-five years of personal experience in this department I think this can be the hardest quality of love to cultivate in the human experience. And by proxy the most liberating and profound. Philia is a type of love that is easy to experience. It is the motivating force behind making plans with friends, answering middle of the night calls of friends in distress, reaching out to a friend you haven’t spoken to in years. Philia is a branch of love that adds deep texture and quality to our lives in the presence of changing intimate relationships and challeng and loss in relationships with blood family members. Agape is the quality of love that created a planet where life thrives in concert with itself. Agape is the force of love that reminds us no matter our shortcomings and transgressions no one is outside the circle of deserving love. Agape is the force of love that witnesses our birth and embraces us in our last breath without conditions of where we have come from or where we are going. 

Through awareness of love and of our relationship to love at these levels we can relate to others through love with greater skill. Stewarding the earth in gratitude for her generosity. Contributing to the greater good in our daily activities and work through the lens of true friendship. Honoring those we don’t understand as we would our family members with whom we don’t see eye to eye. And cherishing the fleeting and powerful moments of intimacy we spend with our beloveds behind closed doors with dignity and respect. These are just a few examples, and I invite you to deepen your own contemplation on the subject of love. Working always with the knowing of loves true nature, allowing, forgiving, generous, accepting, spacious, and unconditional. Through contemplation you may arrive at the realization that everyday is an opportunity to live in Love. To live in love in relationship with the whole of the universe…multiverse…and beyond!

With Love, always, in all ways, for giving, in joy!

Genevieve

The Only Way Out Is Through

January is oftentimes synonymous with making changes. The obvious start of a new cycle invites momentum to shift and patterns to change. While change is always taking place on macro and micro levels, making distinct changes in our personal lives can be supremely challenging. As I write this I wonder how many times in the last year I have told myself that tomorrow I will get back into regular practice on my mat. Each time I tell myself this I do eventually get back on my mat, just to find myself struggling to find steady footing. Only to find my practice once again slipping away, and once again telling myself, tomorrow.

We all are continuously navigating the journey from where we are to where we want to be. As we wake each day choices appear before us that will either take us to a new point of view or back to the one we so longingly wish to turn away from. While some of our choices may not appear to be new, the way we choose to respond to any situation can and does change our lives. Paradoxically in the midst of our desire for transformation is the need to accept where we are. I say need because without acceptance of where we are we are always in the struggle to change, to be something different, to be at odds with ourselves.

No one’s life is all rainbows and sparkles and unicorns. No matter how much we want it to be, it is not. This is the nature of the world we live in. Life evolves, transforms, and changes from one state of being to another. The process is for the most part not comfortable, easy, or desired. And in the face of this discomfort we attach ourselves to what makes us more comfortable. We attach to what makes us more comfortable because in our rational minds it is hard to comprehend that settling into our discomfort and accepting what is will alleviate the discomfort. Do I need to repeat that? In our logical minds we cannot comprehend that dropping into our discomfort will bring us more comfort. So, we attach ourselves to a perspective, a lifestyle, a desire, anything other than what we are experiencing, so as to avoid our discomfort. It is human nature to spend so much of our valuable energy attaching to what we are attracted to that by proxy we attach ourselves to our dislikes with equal strength. Such attachment to our dislike creates aversion which creates resistance. Resistance creates lost opportunity. Potential transformation is lost as a result of only being able to see one way to get there, the way that will be the least uncomfortable. Again I will repeat myself, change is uncomfortable. When we resist change, when we become impervious to the discomfort we miss the opportunity.

Conversely, when we accept where we are, while we are there, resistance naturally dissipates. Acceptance is not synonymous with apathy, rather it is the gateway to peace, the doorway from the darkness into the light. Through acceptance of where we are we have the invitation to feel less of a struggle on the journey from where we are to where we want to be. Through acceptance of where we are, we have the opportunity to look deeper into what it is we want to see change and ask the more pointed question of why. Such a question may lead to other whys, which in time reveal what is really important to each of us individually, not what we think should be important to us, but rather what really, truly, and authentically is.

What is authenticity if not being who you are. And who you are without the constraints of what society, family, and limited beliefs tell you who you think you should be. And how can you know who you authentically are if you refuse to embrace yourself as you are in any moment?

One thing that many people on a spiritual path have a tendency to do is dismiss more base needs for altruistic motives. Such a position allows no space to be who you are, to make choices that will enhance your authentic life, and to experience the whole of the transformation from where you are now through the process to where you are going. Rather, like resistance to discomfort, denial of your underlying true motives just continues the struggle, and perpetuates the choices and behaviors that have landed you where you are. The invitation with New Year’s resolutions or intentions is then about more than bettering yourself, it is rather to embrace the paradox. Embrace where you are as exactly where you are supposed to be, and simultaneously as the catalyst for the momentum toward where you are going. And be patient, all things happen in their own time.

With Love, Always, in All Ways, For Giving,

Genevieve

 

When the sun is standing still.

Go to the place within you that is both silent and cacophonous in the same breath. It is there, in the moving within the stillness, and the light inside the dark, that all is. And it is there that all is happening.

I have learned in some years of “practicing”, and “refining”, and “being good”, on and off the mat that nothing that seems to be the real goal, is it. There are endless caverns of respite within effort, and deep tides of peace that only come from restlessness and disease. I believe that it doesn’t have to always be this way, but that for many, like myself, we must crawl through the rocks on our knees to find what is real. And simple. And good already, birthed from the sweat and grunt of time. Looking back, I heard this wisdom from many mouths, but who was I to listen? And who is any teacher to tell? We all must learn and find ourselves.

It is now, facing the winter solstice 2016, when the world is been cracked open, yolk broken and spilled, once again, and I feel it is safe to relax and begin anew. There is no less passion, just less me in the way of the work. And oh, so much more urgency for the process of unveiling the truth about real: medicine; politics; religion; health and wellness; love, trust, and compassion than ever before. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it once again, as many times as needed: a mantra, a prayer – practice is over. No more suffering at our own hands for perfection, only forward motion and steps toward something we can all feel at home in.

As the sun comes to a momentary pause, may we also sit still and source a link to the rhythm of the movement that is never absent, in all things. Blessings for your own moments of stillness, may they bring to you just what you are seeking and need – healing, rest, self-reflection, irreverence, reverence, faith, or just the chance to BE, and quit doing, if only for a breath or two.

Love and respect, Suki Ola

Making yoga

What a whirl. This month has been, in my humble: tough, uncomfortable, awkward, baring, totally expected (did I really think we as a country were in for anything less than a straight shot to the heart?), and raw. Movement and meditation offer a fine tether to peace and calm, especially in strange times. It is a part of the practice to accept that there are always more factors than the business reports, the polls, the media could ever reveal. To know that no thing is severed from the truth, coincidences and circumstance are in fact, alignment, and the result of past thought and action, and anything that makes you feel, is your practice. The Universe is a vast and immeasurably large thing. Yoga helps me to see this and remember the delicate balance inherent in each living, breathing moment. .

In the bared face of our country’s state, I am heartened to hear conversation, rather than silence. I am waking up. I am thankful to know that other people are waking up, too. And I’m crying a bunch, as things are cutting deeper lately, hitting home and so, opening gateways for communication – that butterfingered pathway of speaking the heart’s world through the mouth, so oft and ungracefully led by the mind. I believe though the stakes may seem incredibly high, that we as a populace of loving and respectful beings, can overcome hatred and bigotry, we can foster trust even in the bungling waves of the body politic, we can forgo destructive behavior and choose salubrious habits for the earth of our bodies and the body of earth, and we can write a future tale that is peaceful and hearty. There may be no training program to download and unpack, that kind of practice, with a standard protocol for all, is over. But we can all tap in and find a way that is clear for us.

Recently, I led an evening of deep healing at Shree Yoga with two dear friends who I have learned and grown with, like, a ton. The event is called R&R+ and the offering is a two hour restorative yoga practice, with reiki and really sweet singing. It seemed like perfect timing, what with all the difficult truths and future challenges presenting themselves so blatantly, for a shared space of rest and mellow. We’ve offered R&R + three times now, and for some mystical reason, in the preceding days to the most recent gathering, numerous people asked in class about their role in the singing portion. “How will I know the songs?”, many asked. No verbiage was changed in our promotion – we sing to you is the whole idea, while we offer reiki, and allow the nutritive effects of gentle restorative postures to do their work. I think the current situation is asking everyone to step up, and this collective call to participate, make better, and GROW UP was directly reflected in the conversation. This is good. We have to ask now what we can do, how we can help. And we also have to take care and rest, in the same moment, same breath. This is masterful practice, friends, and no small feat.

May we learn to settle our minds, and bridge the gap between true feeling and phrase. May our actions reflect the highest. May we all find a path that calls to us, and follow it into our particularly individual, completely irreplaceable, and perfectly generous role of making a difference. Coming together, not all isolated and alone, but courageously as a community of individuals, is the answer. These down-to-earth words from Sri Nisargadatta have been helping me, maybe they are encouraging for you, as well. I brought them to teach with on election day and found my fellow teacher, Sonya Luz had brought the same exact quote to class. “The real world is beyond our thoughts and ideas: we see it through the net of our desires divided into pleasure and pain, right and wrong, inner and outer. To see the universe as it is, you must step beyond the net. It is not hard to do so, for the net is full of holes.”

Attention, Attention…

These last weeks leading up to the election I have been completely distracted. More interested in the movement at Standing Rock than the movement toward the White House. What is taking place at Standing Rock, in my eyes, is as important, if not more so, than the civil rights movement, the suffragette movement, the movement to abolish slavery, and the movement to liberate this country from the jowls of the English Monarchy. Again, that’s just my opinion…and I feel rightly so.

Life without clean water is no life at all! Mini Wiconi, water is life.

An avid fan of great novels, up on the list of personal favorites sharing space with War and Peace, East of Eden, and Jitterbug Perfume is the entirety of the Dune series by Frank Herbert. Of course like any series, some of the books are better than others, but like all of the greats this work touches on more than a plot that turns pages. Water is life after all and the Dune series navigates the reader through a conversation around the extraordinary power of water…economy, ecology, philosophy, theology, politics, love, water is the current that moves all these streams in Frank Herbert’s fictional universe, and in our natural universe as well.

I feel fortunate that my lamentation in regards to the presidential election is shared by most of those in my social circles, but I know it is not shared by all in my sphere or otherwise. So much of what happens in our elections is a generating of fanaticism for our “team”. And much like a favorite team winning or loosing a major sports title, we as fans feel fully let down or overwhelmingly elated when our candidate wins or looses. As a result of this election many of those in my social circles were feeling down and out while looking forward toward a vision they do not feel they can align with.

Walking into my favorite coffee shop the day after the election was a somber experience. A dear friend of mine who was there responded to my inquiries of her welfare by stating her desire to join the revolution of love. “Where is it?” she asked. “At Standing Rock” I responded.

What is and has been taking place at Standing Rock is a powerful faction of humanity facing a vision it does not align with and looking through eyes of forgiveness and spirit. There is nothing more beautiful and powerful than this! Dignity and self respect shine through the veils of corporate greed and corruption. Integrity with principles outshines the need for convenience and ease. Patience walks alongside fear and uncertainty. Through prayer and forgiveness a movement is gaining momentum and it is a revolution of love.

No matter our political affiliations and leanings, no matter our socioeconomic backgrounds, no matter our racial legacies, spiritual pursuits, relationship status, we all need clean water to survive. Every single living being on this planet needs water to live. The planet itself is 96.5% water.

It’s easy to turn our attention toward what bothers us, the wheels of the aggravating thoughts of our mind spin unrepentantly until we turn our attention elsewhere. I made a choice to not pay too much attention to the presidential election because my attention and my prayers have bee, and continue to be elsewhere. The roots of the word attention come from the Latin ad tandere translated simply as to stretch toward. It is an act of our will to turn our attention toward a place that is new or unknown, much like approaching a deeper asana or new relationship. The places we focus our attention become the ruts or samskaras of our minds, the places where it is easy for our thoughts to go, from which we base our observations, opinions, judgments, and choices. While practice on the mat stretches our attention with focus in the midst of intensity, the work on our mat is truly just training for the work off of our mat. So that in the midst of what life has to offer us we have the capacity to turn our attention to that which is aligned with something bigger than our ego’s desire to be right…or even to know at all. With practice we become skillful at remembering heart in the face of adversity, forgiveness in the face of long lasting deceit, and love in the face of fear.

May your practice return you to our shared experience, one of challenge, dignity, adversity, spirit, deceit, love, the unknown, and so much more. May we all join the revolution of love no matter who’s side we align too. May we remember that even though they did not win for 108 years, the Cubs finally had there day, and love too will have its day and many more that follow. May we take steps toward the salvation love offers every day through mindful attention, forgiveness, and acts of peace. And through it all, may we enjoy fresh water, clean air, and warm hugs that dispel the false boundaries of separation worn like a jersey of a sports team!

With love, always, in all ways, for giving, in joy,

Genevieve 

In the Middle

My obsession with finding resolution has led me down some strange, and awkward paths. Looking back I can see quite clearly how choices I made as a younger human were tethered to some deep yearning within myself to fix… everything. It didn’t matter if it was my motor broken or someone else’s, but just that there was something to repair. Recently as a student (which is, like, my favorite thing to be), in Kelley Tredwin’s Breathing is Good Medicine workshop on mindfulness based stress reduction and the power of the breath, I was rekindled to the knowing that a mind needs to complete a thought. Oh, poor mind, ever-destined to chase resolution around like a mystical bone in a world of unfinished, and beautifully undone cycles.

Kelley used the example of mulling thoughts over until far too steeped in the middle of the night. Without the clarity of daylight, a brain will just continue to ramble about, trying to resolve an issue that cannot, by default, be solved by thinking alone. Some dilemmas, like: the crumbling vitality of our environment; deep veins of hatred and judgement that perpetrate all manner of disgusting behavior; war; and the proliferation of over-packaged, processed food that neither nourishes nor sustains life, just cannot be solved in one act or one day. Even a year with superb collaboration from all beings everywhere might not save the planet, but I believe that even so, the actions we take today matter. What paradox. Dear mind, be patient.

The character of Shiva in the pantheon of deities and gravitational heavyweights of Hindu thought is well known for his offering of destruction, oft-named Lord Destroyer. But dissolution is only one of Shiva’s five acts, or states, of the eternal. The first four of Shiva’s acts are creation, sustenance, concealment, and revelation. Each of these five states charges toward ultimate dissolution, which is perhaps why he is so well known for the end. But every end has a beginning, and a middle, and a place where the path is lost, and then found again before meeting itself in resolution. And upon complete dissolve, an energy has the capacity to be reborn and begun, again.

As I understand the concept, all things in the universe are ever acting amidst the reality of one of these five states. The first and the final – creation and dissolution – are fleeting, maybe even momentary. From the conception of a human being to the emergence of a thought, creation happens in an instant. Often the end of a concept, body, or belief occurs in a similar tiny time frame. In science, such momentous shifts are called quantum, and can be proven to not be arriving out of nowhere, but to be the result of much courting, conversation, and collaboration.

Most of the time we spend in our bodies is settled in the state of sustenance, or maintenance. The acts and habits of preservation that sustain life are where we spend the most time and energy, while living. Though landmarks and aha-moments do plant their stakes into the fecund soil of our consciousness and tissues from time to time, the majority of the day-to-day is just that; brushing teeth and little greasings of the wheels that keep things rolling. To live fully in the act of sustenance is by default, to not know what is to come, but to trust. And unless one is dying to die, and can’t wait to dissolve into the ether in an act of solving all the issues of having a body, for now, let go. I encourage myself to savor the good stuff in the middle, and let more than a few strands remain frayed and untied, just for today.

Love and peace with the messiness,

Suki Ola

The Queen of Distress

A student of mine recently gave me a new nickname, the “Queen of Distress”. The student informed me, after I queried, that this was a compliment and not otherwise. I am pretty confident that the nickname came about as a reflection of the subject matter I have been unfolding in my classroom recently. All recent themes have been spokes off of the hub of adversity.

The reason for this focus in my class themes is not me working out a current personal journey through distress, but rather my continued desire as a teacher to relate the asana practice to something greater off the mat. And I am pretty sure that no matter how open, strong, or flexible someone is, asana practice invites adversity. With this in mind I often teach on the theme of rising above or navigating through adversity as the great opportunity to translate the practice off the and mat into ones life.

While I may not be perceiving my life currently in a specific state of adversity, I am aware that there is always a bit of challenge to be navigated in the course of every day. This is one of the many reasons I return to the mat regularly. Each time any of us returns to our practice we have the opportunity to reset any states of discord to something more harmonious, or to set the stage for harmony before the discord arises. Be it physical, mental, emotional, energetic, spiritual, or otherwise.

The practice of traversing adversity mindfully and with courage can eventually lead us deeper into the more esoteric qualities of our yoga practice. As we learn to navigate the rising and falling of life’s challenges we become more capable of seeing what exists in the steadiness beneath those waves. Through this lens we become more capable of discerning what is temporary and what is eternal. In Sanskrit this is Viveka, or the practice of discernment. In time our practice of Viveka enables us to experience ever more harmony in the midst of whatever life hands us, and the fact of the matter is that life will hand it to us.

So I may now be the “Queen of Distress” but I am comfortable with that. Even though I may not percieve myself in the midst of the shit today, I know I have earned the title. And I am happy to share my knowledge with others in the hopes that something helps.

With Love, Always, in All Ways, For Giving, For Peace,

Genevieve

Autumn Manifesto

Tomorrow’ s equinox is a call to harvest the year’s bounty and begin focusing on storing energy and resources for the future. I’m hearing and feeling the call. Especially up at this elevation and in this wild climate, wrapping up of annual inspirations happens at a time that also requests solid self-care and tending at the gross physical and mental levels. I know, I know, now is the fleeting and extra special opportunity to be present. I speak for myself as an act of, and in the spirit of, living the life I have been asking for. Here is my autumn manifesto.

Accept the gift and revel in the generosity of spirit that breathes into your body from the wellspring of life force energy. Do pranayama to rebuild stable space within for energy and rest. Just like the web of diversity that holds all beings together, these two apparent opposing forces are intimately linked. Know that they become one another.

Call upon the ancient asana shapes that science is just now coming forth to declare they: improve circulation, promote brain function, regulate hormones, support digestion and elimination, strengthen joints and bones, affect better lymphatic flow, promote healthy body weight, enhance sleep. The list goes on, but especially, asana allows freedom of movement in the world, and exploration. Practice because you like it.

Sit in meditation not just because it has been proven to calm the nerves, clear the mind, invite creative thinking, and foster connection to spirit, but because it makes the day easier to face. Reflect upon the benefits in direct relationship to your life. Sit. It feels good.

Study the far-out ideas, and philosophy to connect to something greater, and remember that all sacred writings are only meant to widen a lens of perspective. See a bigger picture with every mindful, grateful breath. Recognize yourself and everyone you know living their own version of the great odysseys and journeys to the depths of the soul. Stay humble and confident in the face of all our great adventures.

Quality first. Yoga improves the quality life, and so, wish for quantity of life. When the waves of radiant health are rolling, welcome more time embodied to exact positive change as in individual, and in the greater collective community. See where your gifts are needed, and offer them without draining resources of energy. Be truly generous, hold safe boundaries.

Look beyond the surface, to see youthfulness below. Tend your inner playful self and revamp a spirit of possibility. Openness to change is an invaluable skill and practice to tend it. Despite all you have endured and seen, stay curious. And practice for the sake of, and by the virtue of, just what makes you feel quite young.

With love and peace on peace day,

Suki Ola

Contemplations on Happiness, Peace, and Asana

The pursuit of happiness came on like a storm, furious, powerful, and unrelenting. I was in my teens when I decided that being happy was what I wanted to do with my life. I am sure it came about as a snarky response to the big question of what I was going to do with my life. It seemed like a reasonable goal in the midst of a maelstrom of inner confusion when facing the big teenage mystery of what the picture of my life might become. And as a teenager I believed that it did not matter what kind of career I had, what kind of lifestyle I had, how much money I would make, where I would live, all of that was secondary to the first and most important goal, happiness. Diligently like the idealist and rebellious adolescent I was I pursued this goal, finding myself in many wild and delightful moments full of happiness and yet always knowing something wasn’t quite right. Just because I was seeking happiness did not mean I was happy. Just because I thought that those other aspects of life were secondary to my happiness at the time did not mean that any of them were. In fact, as a low blow to my idealist rebel teenage self I have found that many of those aspects of my life are great contributors to my  happiness as an adult. In spite of my great efforts to be happy first I have often found myself unsatisfied, unfulfilled, and in a semi-constant state of inner tumult looking for that which would scratch my itch for joy. Having an itch after all is a natural part of life. We all experience desire and longing. However, as I eventually found for myself, the pursuit of happiness can become an unrelenting oppressive force menacingly disturbing the peace.

Unlike my youthful merciless pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of peace approached more discreetly, like a great novel, the first pages drawing me in, and the further in I went the more interesting and compelling the experience. Different from the blatant and obvious benefits of pursuing happiness the benefits of pursuing peace reveal themselves more subtly, almost clandestine in their disclosure. Leaving one satisfied at a taste of the mystery, its savory and sweet flavor lingering offering room for pause, contemplation, connection and serene delight.

Everyone comes to the mat for a different reason, yet it is probably safe to say that at the heart of all of our pursuits is peace. We cloak our desire for peace in the pursuits of happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, health, patience, generosity, strength, flexibility, resilience, our hunger for connection to others and to something bigger, the list goes on. However, we must beware that in these worthwhile pursuits is a tendency for obsession and myopia, discipline turned into obligation, and misguided attempts to better self at the expense of self acceptance. A very famous yoga sutra, and the only one of the 196 teachings to even mention asana, states:

2:46 Sthira sukham asanam.

Asana is a steady, comfortable posture.

 If it is steady and comfortable that we seek than we must stop looking for the places we can be better and contentedly accept where we are. In the practice of self-acceptance we can become more calm and peaceful, more relaxed and allowing. This does not mean complacent, but rather naturally cultivating the ripe and loving environment for transformation, rather than trying to force it. In the end everything will change, there is no question of that. So, in the meantime we have the opportunity to enjoy the transitions in peace. Practice effort and surrender. Notice how the trees effortlessly and gracefully drop their leaves, and in step with the season we are invited to drop our own leaves, whatever they may be, and settle into the steady comfortable posture known as life.