Ever-evolving trust and small cheese

Discomfort, bred from recognizing what would benefit to change, comes with the territory in any self-awareness practice, like yoga. To see the habits, thoughts and attachments that no longer serve the highest is the beginning of purifying the mind and body to serve the spirit. It is just this awkward state of self-reflection that has driven much of my yogic studies along. I feel liberated when I realize an old pattern has changed, and despite knowing all it takes to transform, am tickled by the occasional feeling that it that all arose out of the blue. Sometimes I forget where I began and sometimes it just takes that long…

What a yogi chooses to do with this knowingness is a key to maintenance of happiness and ease. One option is to focus the mind on releasing that which so blatantly blocks evolution. “I will no longer eat cheese”, (as it upsets my stomach). “I will stop talking negatively to my body”, (for I believe that I am well). “I will release a poverty consciousness around earning and allowing for abundance”, (I know that I am worthy). Here are examples of affirmations I have fiddled with in the past. Their repetition and practice served, in a way, to infuse my world with new concepts and perspectives, surely.

But I found myself fixated on more adversity than I had hoped for. “Cheese”, “negative talk”, and “poverty consciousness”, were words I was repeating daily and my mind was lapping it up with a big spoon. The mind can only do so much with the information it is served and will focus on what is presented with regularity, whether or not it is the heart’s desire to shift just that thing. All this time and my practice was attaching deeper roots to just what I wished to forgo. My small prayers were contradicting the natural course of their very spacious nature.

Lately, as laissez faire as it may seem, I choose to pray big and accept that now is the time to release ALL that no longer serves. Trust in the process anchors such a capacious invocation. With these words, I honor all the work that has been done to carve deep canyons of possibility into the matter of mindstuff, and bodystuff, and all humankindstuff. This new way is neither positive nor negatively charged, it simply is full reverence for the magic power of manifestation. As little habits slither off into oblivion, deeper patterns of thought and behavior are also sent down the happy path of letting go. All in the universe is metaphor, each singular thing reflecting and refracting the light of another, and we as light beings are doing the same. Why not trust that one wide current of calling is enough? Now we’re talking powerful stuff, which is prayer, if we leave the gates open.

With love and respect for the process, Suki

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